Running with the Wolves

I wake up and the world is too quiet.

Shouldn't everything be breaking?

I take a shower, then another one.

I wash him out of my hair.

I scrub my skin until it is raw.

I have a deep understanding that I will never be the same

after last night.

I wanted to run with the wolves,

but I am too soft for them. For him.

I close my eyes and try to rewrite the memories.

The moment seizes me and I'm free-falling -

I'm floating away - I'm lost in time - I'm anywhere but here.

I run into you at a party but everything feels really far away.

You tell me that you're seeing someone and I want to die

because you've moved on, but every time I close my eyes

all I see is you.

I find myself thinking about that encounter 3 weeks later.

Maybe I just needed someone to blame.

All I know is now I fall asleep on couches with strange boys

and I feel ruined for everything warm and good.

I want to hate you but I can't.