Twenty!

Today I turned twenty.

And I'm thinking about how twenty used to feel so far off,

but now it's here and it's real and somehow it just feels right.

I'm thinking about how I've changed this year:

how I used to chase adventure

up mountaintops and across continents,

always waiting to arrive at the next moment.

Now I am finding my truest life here in Bowling Green, KY,

sitting on the roof with the people I love

on an ordinary Tuesday night.

I'm thinking about how 15-year-old me swore that

I would never drink or curse or fall in love again.

But now I'm dancing in the Castle and

flinging words into the universe.

And he's crushing all my predispositions,

calling me up and saying,"go for a drive with me?"—

and I am abandoning all reason and responsibility for

something like fondness.

It's a miracle that we ever met.

I feel like I am watching the wind sweep away pieces of my old self.

I feel different, but also so ridiculously like myself.

I'm becoming softer and kinder and braver.

Today I woke up twenty

and I'm thinking about my losses and gains,

mountains and valleys, highlands and heartache.

There's a lot to reflect on,

but really everything just equals out to

gratitude.

It's been a whirlwind journey.

All I know is

I'm glad I ended up here.